“Extraordinary in my own way.”
My mom is a hairdresser so ever since I was a kid, she had been cutting my hair. In 11th grade, I snuck out and got a tomboy haircut. My mom was furious and kept telling me that the cut was disgusting because I looked gay. I was mad then too, so I told her: “Your kid is gay, so what?” After that, I sent my mom a really long text explaining everything. I remember telling her: “You kid may not be “normal” but I will be extraordinary in my own way.”
The next morning, when I saw her, she gave me a drumstick and said that she loved me. While I was eating, she asked: “You’ve eaten, are you less sick now? Was it because I didn’t give you enough affection that you got sick? “ I put the food down and yelled: “What are you talking about? I’m not sick.” With that, I left.
After calming down, I placed the book “Our children” under her pillow and told her to read it. One week passed, and she didn’t read it. Even when I told her to read it, she still wouldn’t. I had to send a text saying “Please try reading this, for me.” Fortunately, she agreed.
From then on, she cooled down but still doesn’t accept me completely. Often, she would brag with her close friends that “Na has a girlfriend but she’s really good,” as if having a girlfriend was something bad, as if there needed to be some redeeming feature. I really want to know the reason why she wouldn’t accept having a lesbian for a daughter, but that’s a story for another time.
I don’t want to use my story as advice for anyone but I don’t regret coming out in 11th grade. That was the time I began exploring and growing but at the back of my head, I always wondered if being gay was good or not. Coming out for me was like throwing that notion out of the window so I could continue on my own path. That was the best feeling I got from coming out.
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Rồi Sẽ Ổn Thôi (“Gonna Be Alright”) is a project that collects coming out stories from the LGBTIQ+ community and their loved ones in Việt Nam. To find out more details or to read more stories from the project, please visit our official social media site on Instagram at ComingOutVN.
