“If you love someone…”
Back in high school, my best friend and I had a huge thing for each other. I had a crush on her, too, but I didn’t dare to admit it, so the relationship became muddled and unclear. After that, I kept looking for other relationships, then I went abroad to study, yet I still wanted to keep her close.
After four years of waiting on a relationship, one day she finally decided to stop and pursue another love. I was honestly shocked. That night, I gathered all her gifts and cards out in the yard, tossed them in a bucket, and set everything on fire. I was really hurt because, out of the blue, someone came into our lives and took away the person that meant so much to me. Even when some time had passed, I still felt hateful and frustrated. Then I figured that if her feelings for me had been so deep and I kept her waiting, she couldn’t just pursue me forever. She would ultimately have to leave. I realized two things: first, if you love someone, you gotta own up to your feelings, don’t just let the other person feel ashamed of the relationship; and second, if I fall for someone in the future, I have to proudly introduce them as my partner.
In the next 3 years, she and I lost contact. Then, one year after I returned to Việt Nam, I ran into her while going out with my current partner for a queer movie showing at the Goethe Institute. It was so god damn awkward, we said Hi and then that was it. Days later, out of nowhere, we decided to go out for a beer. She asked: “Oh I saw your boyfriend the other day, how’s it going?” and I responded that it wasn’t my boyfriend she saw, but my girlfriend.
We both felt a sudden joy at that moment as if we had both matured enough to pour our hearts out to each other. In reality, we weren’t seeing each other all the time after that, but we made sure to tell each other any big news. We became like soulmates, even to today.
********
Rồi Sẽ Ổn Thôi (“Gonna Be Alright”) is a project that collects coming out stories from the LGBTIQ+ community and their loved ones in Việt Nam. To find out more details or to read more stories from the project, please visit our official social media site on Instagram at ComingOutVN.
