“Leaving was the only way I could breathe again.” (part 2)
After receiving my text, my sister scolded me for leaving like that. At that point, everything was already a goddamn mess, so I told my sister that I like girls and that I was seeing one. My sister asked if I was sure, or if maybe I hadn’t thought this through. I told her: “I don’t know how to explain this, I have no words for what’s going on, nor any knowledge to get through to everyone, so I needed time to prove myself. That’s why I left.” I decided to cut off all contacts then. My mom and sister still called and texted a lot, but I didn’t respond.
I kept my distance from my family until 3 years later, around Tết. Since I felt more confident and my job was more stable, I called my dad on New Year’s Eve. When he picked up the phone, my dad was so elated, he couldn’t say a word to his own daughter. He was so happy to know that I would be visiting for the summer.
That summer, I decided to come home for a visit and brought my girlfriend to introduce to the whole family. I thought about the worst-case scenario, which was my mom, dad, and sister hurling insults, but the reality was that there were no negative reactions. Everyone was beyond happy, so much so that it took me by surprise how well cared for my girlfriend was, even more than myself. My mom and sister took turns making her the best Southern dishes and asked her what she wanted to eat every morning before heading out to the market. I showed her off to the whole neighborhood. My uncle once said if we were ever in a bad place, we could move into his house for good. I laughed at his suggestion; it wasn’t like we were getting evicted or anything! He was being way too cautious.
This one time, my dad got really drunk at my cousin’s wedding, so I had to come pick him up. He leaned on my shoulders at the back of the bike and told me that he was so sad not to have grandchildren to hold. I told him that there was always the option of adoption or test-tube babies. He said he was too old to contribute financially to me. I wanted to laugh and felt empathy at the same time for the old folks at home. Like, they were afraid that I wouldn’t be taken care of, and they were getting old. I was filled with joy.
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Rồi Sẽ Ổn Thôi (“Gonna Be Alright”) is a project that collects coming out stories from the LGBTIQ+ community and their loved ones in Việt Nam. To find out more details or to read more stories from the project, please visit our official social media site on Instagram at ComingOutVN.
