“Then we’re dating, that’s what!”

In my senior year of high school, there was this new girl that transferred into my class, and she immediately became an anomaly of some sort. The boys loved teasing her. I didn’t feel anything special, tried to strike up a conversation with her every once in a while but she never responded so I didn’t like her much. One day after evening classes, I saw that she was standing by herself, I went to asked her and she said her house was pretty near, her parents just hadn’t shown up yet. I offered to give her a ride home. On the way, she told me that she knew I lived far away and took extra classes at noon, so I was welcomed to rest at her place. From then on, we grew a lot closer.

Because she was an anomaly, no one knew about her. Rumors started to spread, that she was dating this and that. They made me so mad, as if I was jealous, though I didn’t understand why.

I dated a lot of boys, but none of them lasted for over 3 weeks. To be honest, they were really good to me, but every time we held hands I was irritated. I was thinking: “We’re holding hands now, we might kiss later, can’t let that happen!” That happened so often, they would want to go further whereas I wasn’t interested, so I would always use the excuse that my mother wouldn’t allow me to date. But since meeting this girl, I realized that holding hands…is really cool. After holding hands, I wanted to kiss her, the feeling came so naturally, and I wanted it to happen, unlike before when I was running away from it.

One day, I accidentally asked a friend what “love” meant. They said: “Well love is like being yourself, like you and that best friend of yours, you act exactly like a couple!” I took some time to think, then decided to text my best friend asking her what would happen if we were more than friends. She answered in a carefree manner: “Then we’re dating, that’s what!” She became my first love, and that lasted for around 4 years.

*********

Rồi Sẽ Ổn Thôi (“Gonna Be Alright”) is a project that collects coming out stories from the LGBTIQ+ community and their loved ones in Việt Nam. To find out more details or to read more stories from the project, please visit our official social media site on Instagram at ComingOutVN.