“Would you like another daughter?”
I figured out that I had feelings for girls back in 6th grade. I was in a good class then, I was even close to one of the class monitors who sat at the back of the room. I was so drawn to her all throughout high school, missing her and yearning for her and such. We lost contact once we got into high school and reconnected in college, but that went nowhere.
I dated around for a bit afterward, boys and girls alike. I had been together with this guy for about 5 years when my mom asked me when I was getting a husband. I said without a hint of sarcasm, “I’ll probably not get a husband, but how would you like another daughter to take care of you?” She called me crazy, but that was the last time she saw me bring a boy home. After that, it was just girls.
The first date I went on with this girl over here, she texted and said she’d come to pick me up. I was taken aback then, but I accepted it anyway. Afterward, I found out that she only offered to pick me up in case I was from a decent family. I guess it’s because we met on Tinder that she had been so cautious; I honestly thought she was some gallant type. Before dating me, this girl had never stayed out late; she would always be home before 10:30. On our second date, I took her to the Old Quarters, then stopped by a cafe to talk. We were so caught up with the conversation that it was 10:15 when she realized she had to go home. So we bolted from the Old Quarters to all the way back to Bạch Mai and luckily made it in time.
I don’t quite know why but after that date, she went all out and spent the night with me. We didn’t expect her mom to call at midnight and forced her to go home. There was nothing she could say to convince her mom otherwise. So I had to reassure her mom, I told her where I lived, even my actual residency; I told her that her daughter could sleep over safely. Yeah, I admit it was a risk, but we were reassured by the fact that the following day was the first of the Lunar month, so folks wouldn’t be too mad.
It was funny because, with everyone I took home, I tried to create the best image for her before my mom’s eyes; I’d try to convince her that I was better because of her. But before her mom’s eyes at that moment, I was probably a bad influence. What can you do?
Rồi Sẽ Ổn Thôi (“Gonna Be Alright”) is a project that collects coming out stories from the LGBTIQ+ community and their loved ones in Việt Nam. To find out more details or to read more stories from the project, please visit our official social media site on Instagram at ComingOutVN.