“You used to have feelings for me, didn’t you?” (part 1)
I realized I am bisexual during my freshman year of college. I’m not exactly the type to adapt well. Back in high school, I had a bunch of friends probably due to the fact that I spent more time at school than at home and there’s about a handful of people in every class who see each other every day. Things were different in college, each class had up to hundreds of students from all over the country, so though I hung out with them, I didn’t quite grow close to anyone.
I’ve had this best friend since high school, we were two peas in a pod: if we weren’t hanging out and eating, we were watching movies and gossipping. Our conversations seemed endless. Back then, I thought we were so close because we simply got along well.
Things changed when we got to university, though. We went to the same college but studied different majors. Even though we were still hanging out and we still had those endless conversations, I started to notice how we were doing it less and less. My friend was sociable, so she started hanging around a group of new friends. I only wished we could return to high school.
As time passed, I grew jealous of her new friends because they became as close as we were in the past. I was dating a sophomore guy then, but I still felt lonely a lot of the time. That feeling of loss became more clear when my everyday life dwindled to just going to school and then coming home. If I wasn’t going out with my boyfriend, I was home, surrounded by four walls and a laptop with an Internet connection. Everything worsened when my best friend and I got into a fight because I didn’t like how often she talked about her “other friends.” Sometime after, we weren’t seeing each other, and beyond the occasional texts, there was hardly anything else. Honestly, I was looking to avoid her, simply because I thought I could find other relationships, other friends if I wasn’t so close to her anymore. (to be continued)
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Rồi Sẽ Ổn Thôi (“Gonna Be Alright”) is a project that collects coming out stories from the LGBTIQ+ community and their loved ones in Việt Nam. To find out more details or to read more stories from the project, please visit our official social media site on Instagram at ComingOutVN.
